


What Could Have Been 1

by thinmint23



Category: Guiding Light
Genre: F/F, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:39:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9105007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinmint23/pseuds/thinmint23
Summary: Short one shot about Natalia making one small, different decision that could have changed things. Short summary for a short one shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> First time caller. Be gentle. Or not. Constructive feedback appreciated. I don't think about this fandom as often anymore (I can't believe it really has been about 7 years or so), but will likely remain disappointed in that a handful of relatively small changes/decisions/etc. during the course of it could have made a fairly big difference in how the relationship was ultimately portrayed.

Natalia watches the white prayer candle flicker, the flame dancing seemingly without a care in the world despite it holding all of her fears, hopes, dreams, guilt. She’s found herself unmarried and pregnant, for a second time. She’s not 16 like the first time, but unlike the first time she isn’t in love or even the 16-year-old equivalent of love. 

Fine. Add lying to the list because that’s not entirely true. She is in love. Madly, deeply, spine-tingly in love. She squeezes her eyes shut and drops her chin to her chest as her heart races at the thought. Then the guilt creeps in. Guilt that she slept with someone outside of marriage. Guilt that the person she slept with is not the person she is in love with. Guilt that in sleeping with the person she is not in love with she may have hurt the person she is in love with. Guilt that the person she is in love with is a woman. A woman who recently declared her love through tears and at the top of her lungs before dragging Natalia down the aisle to marry the man whose baby, Natalia just found out, she now carries. 

She opens her eyes and sighs. What has her life become? How did she end up here from her small life in Chicago? Work and her son, Rafe. A small apartment, a few friends, no complications or distractions. She liked that life. Another lie. She knew that life, recognized that life, could manage that life. Now, she is so off kilter. Then again, Olivia does that to people. That’s her game. Only Natalia is not off kilter when she’s with Olivia and in her heart she knows this isn’t a game for Olivia. She’s off kilter by what being with Olivia, really being with Olivia, would mean, would do, how things would change. 

_“I’m scared.”_  
_“Do you trust me, Natalia?”_  
_“With my life.”_  
_“Me too. I love you, I need you, I want. You. Whatever comes I know that we can handle it. Together.”_

Father Ray leads her out of the church. She turns to face him as he lingers in the doorway, holding the door open slightly. 

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“Yes, Father, I am,” Natalia responds and gives him a dimpled smile before turning away and pulling out her cell phone. 

“Hi. . . Yes, I’m OK. . . No, I don’t really feel up for the barbeque. . .Yes, everything is OK or, well, it will be. I hope. I have faith that it will be. . . I know that’s a little confusing, but do you think that you can meet me at home in a few minutes? I just have a few things that I want to talk through with you. . .Do you think that Blake can give Emma a ride home later? . . . Alright, see you soon. Oh, Olivia, wait!” She smiles. “I love you.”


End file.
